Living with Depression: What It Feels Like and How Counselling Can Help 

You may still be getting through your working day, answering messages and looking after the people who depend on you. Yet privately, everything feels harder than it used to.

Perhaps you wake up tired, struggle to enjoy things or find yourself withdrawing from people you care about. You might feel sad, irritable or strangely empty. Even when life looks fine from the outside, you know you have not been feeling like yourself.

Counselling gives you time to understand what is happening and begin finding a way forward.

I’m Cassandra Chiu, a Registered Counsellor with 15 years’ experience supporting adults with emotional difficulties, relationship concerns and the pressures of demanding lives. We work together to make sense of what you are experiencing and find practical changes that can help everyday life feel more manageable.

Depression does not always look like sadness

For some people, depression brings tears and a persistent sense of heaviness. For others, it feels more like numbness, frustration or running out of energy.

You may notice:

• Things you normally enjoy no longer hold your interest.
• You feel tired but struggle to sleep, or sleep more without feeling refreshed.
• Concentrating and making decisions take more effort.
• Your appetite changes.
• You become more withdrawn or easily irritated.
• Your thoughts turn repeatedly towards guilt, self-criticism or hopelessness.

These experiences can affect work, relationships and your ability to care for yourself. The World Health Organization describes depressive episodes as involving persistent low mood or loss of interest, usually for most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks. Symptoms need to be understood together, rather than treated as a checklist for diagnosing yourself.

You can seek support earlier if things are troubling you. There is no need to wait until you are struggling to function.

When keeping going takes everything you have

It can be difficult to explain that you are struggling when you are still meeting your responsibilities.

You may tell yourself that other people have greater problems, that you should be grateful or that you simply need to try harder. Meanwhile, getting through an ordinary day takes most of the energy you have.

In counselling, there is room to talk about that experience without having to justify it. We can explore what has changed, what is weighing on you and where some relief might begin.

Relationship difficulties, loss, work pressure or major changes may be part of the picture. Sometimes there is no single explanation. We start with your experience and work from there.

How counselling can help you move forward

My individual counselling work draws on cognitive behavioural therapy, or CBT, and solution-focused approaches.

CBT helps us explore the connections between your thoughts, feelings and actions. For example, feeling low may lead you to withdraw, leaving you with less support and more time alone with harsh thoughts. Recognising that pattern gives us somewhere practical to begin.

We might work on responding differently to self-criticism, approaching a task that has become overwhelming or gradually reconnecting with something important to you. CBT is among the psychological treatments recommended in NICE’s guidance for adults with depression.

Solution-focused work also helps us notice when things feel a little more manageable, what supports those moments and what you would like to be different. Those details can help us identify steps that fit your energy and circumstances.

We make space for difficult experiences while working towards changes you can use outside the counselling room.

What might we work on together?

The focus depends on what matters most to you. Our work may include:

• Easing the pressure of persistent self-criticism.
• Finding a manageable rhythm for daily responsibilities.
• Reconnecting with people or activities you have withdrawn from.
• Working through grief, disappointment or relationship difficulties.
• Expressing your needs and setting clearer boundaries.
• Recognising changes in your mood and knowing when to seek additional support.

We agree on priorities together and review how you are getting on. A useful step might be small: having a conversation you have been avoiding, returning to an activity or finding a less punishing way to respond when a day goes badly.

Begin useful work from your first appointment

Your initial appointment gives us up to 90 minutes to understand what you have been experiencing and begin working together. We explore what has been difficult, what you have already tried and what you hope will change.

As time allows, we also begin working on one specific area—perhaps easing a cycle of self-critical thoughts, making an overwhelming situation more manageable or finding a practical way to relieve some of the pressure. The aim is to give you both space to be heard and a useful starting point.

Recognising progress

Progress may first appear in ordinary moments. Getting started in the morning becomes a little easier. You reach out to someone. A difficult thought feels less convincing, or you recover more readily after a setback.

We will discuss what improvement would mean for you and review it together. That helps us recognise what is useful, adjust our approach and consider whether other support is needed.

There is no fixed number of appointments that suits everyone. We discuss the pace and direction of the work as we go.

Will I need medication?

Counselling and medication are both treatment options for depression. What is appropriate depends on your symptoms, their impact, your preferences and your previous treatment experience. Some people benefit from psychological treatment alone; others benefit from combined care.

If a medical assessment could be helpful, we can discuss that openly. A GP or psychiatrist can assess physical contributors and advise you about medication. I do not prescribe medication.

If you feel unable to keep yourself safe, seek urgent medical help rather than waiting for a counselling appointment.

Counselling in Singapore or online

You can meet with me at my practice at Rocca Balestier, 221 Balestier Road, #03-06, Singapore 329928, or attend online.

You will work directly with me. Sessions offer dedicated time to speak about what has been happening and work towards changes that matter to you.

The initial appointment costs $400 and is scheduled for up to 90 minutes. Follow-up appointments cost $250 per one-hour appointment block, with approximately 50 minutes of counselling and the remaining time for notes and administration. No GST is charged. The first hour is charged in full. Any additional time is agreed beforehand and charged in 15-minute increments at S$62.50 per increment.

You can read more about individual counselling, online appointments and the full fees and package options on the relevant service pages.

You are welcome to begin where you are

You may be unsure whether what you are experiencing is depression, exhaustion or the weight of several difficult things happening together. We can begin with what you have noticed and what you would like help with.

If life has started to feel smaller, heavier or harder to enjoy, you are welcome to get in touch.

We can make time to understand what is happening and begin working towards a way forward that feels more manageable for you.

Enquire about an individual counselling appointment with Cassandra.