“We’ve talked about this so many times. What would counselling do differently?”
It is a reasonable question. You may have spent evenings explaining, listening, disagreeing and promising to try again. The thought of paying for another conversation may leave you wondering what would change.
In counselling, you have someone actively guiding the conversation when it reaches the point where you usually get stuck. I help clarify what has not been heard, address what needs a response and work with you on what should happen next.
I’m Cassandra Chiu, a Registered Counsellor with over 15 years’ experience supporting couples. You will work directly with me, with clear priorities and progress reviewed together. Explore marriage and relationship counselling in Singapore.
What can a counsellor add when we already know the problem?
You may agree that communication is difficult, trust has been damaged or responsibilities feel unfair. Knowing the problem does not always make it easier to address.
One partner may want an acknowledgement of hurt. The other may keep explaining that they did not intend it. Both are speaking, but neither feels answered.
In a session, I can pause that exchange and help clarify what each person needs the other to understand. We can explore the impact without losing sight of intentions, responsibility or what needs to happen next.
Sometimes you only know that being together has become harder. You may feel lonely but struggle to explain why, or avoid raising a concern because you fear it will sound ungrateful. I help you put that experience into words and give it room to be explored.
You do not need to speak perfectly or manage your partner’s response throughout the appointment. I will guide the exchange, make room for each of you and help us stay with what needs attention.
Understand your partner without losing your own perspective
Listening can become difficult when your partner’s account feels unfair.
You may want to correct a detail, explain the circumstances or point out what they did too. Before long, the original concern disappears beneath competing explanations.
In counselling, I help you separate understanding your partner’s experience from agreeing with every interpretation.
We can make room for what each of you remembers while exploring why the exchange mattered. Sometimes a useful early change is quiet reflection: a partner pauses to consider what they have heard before responding.
That gives us an opening to work with.
Read more about counselling for recurring arguments.
Turn a vague promise into a change you can recognise
“We’ll spend more time together.”
“I’ll help more.”
“We’ll communicate better.”
These intentions may be sincere, yet leave you with different expectations about what will happen.
I help couples make the agreement clearer and consider whether it fits their lives. What would sharing the responsibility involve? What makes time together feel meaningful? What happens when an arrangement is no longer working?
If a commitment keeps being broken, we address that too. A conversation needs to lead to action where action is required.
Explore how counselling can support everyday changes in your relationship.
Make room for closeness, not only problem-solving
You may want fewer arguments, but also something more: affection, friendship or the feeling that your partner enjoys being with you.
When difficulties have taken over, sessions can help you explore what you miss and what makes connection harder now.
We also pay attention to what still works. Perhaps you support each other through practical challenges or still share moments of humour. Understanding those strengths gives us something to build on.
You do not need to describe the whole relationship as unhappy to want help with part of it.
Read more about emotional distance and feeling lonely together.
Discuss responsibility without making every problem equally shared
Having both partners in the room does not mean responsibility is divided equally.
An affair, deception, intimidation or a repeatedly broken agreement needs to be addressed clearly. Understanding the wider relationship does not make one partner responsible for the other person’s harmful choice.
I take both partners’ experiences seriously while keeping those distinctions clear. We can explore what has happened, what needs to change and whether you want to work towards repair.
Where betrayal is central to your concerns, read more about counselling after an affair.
Gain clarity when you want different things
You may be considering a move, parenthood or a change in family responsibilities. One partner may want to rebuild the relationship while the other is unsure.
Counselling gives those differences time and attention. I help you clarify what matters, where there is room to move and which decisions need further thought.
Attending an appointment does not commit you to staying together. The purpose and direction of the work need to reflect where you both are.
If you are unsure whether to begin, read more about when to start marriage counselling.
How will we know whether the sessions are useful?
We begin by identifying what you want to be different.
You may want to raise a concern without it becoming an argument, feel more comfortable reaching for affection or trust that an agreement will be kept.
We review what happens between appointments. Are conversations changing? Is something becoming easier? Is an important concern still being missed?
You may notice progress differently. One partner may feel encouraged while the other still needs a particular change. We discuss that directly so the work stays connected to what matters to each of you.
If an approach is not helping, we explore why and what needs adjusting.
What is my approach to couples counselling?
My approach is warm, direct and practical. I guide difficult conversations, help you notice what happens between you and work with you on changes that fit your relationship.
The Gottman Method is my main framework for couples work, supported by Solution-Focused Brief Therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy where helpful.
I have completed Gottman Method Couples Therapy Level 1 and Level 2 training and am a Master Solution-Focused Practitioner.
Read more about how I use the Gottman Method, or my background and qualifications.
What happens in the first appointment?
Your initial appointment gives us up to 90 minutes to understand what has been happening and begin working together.
We explore your concerns, what you have already tried and what you hope will change. As time allows, we also begin working on one specific difficulty—perhaps slowing down a tense exchange, helping you express something that has been hard to say or finding a practical way to ease some of the pressure.
You do not need to prepare a shared explanation or decide who will speak first. I will guide the conversation and help us identify a useful starting point.
Where individual meetings form part of couples counselling, I explain their purpose and confidentiality arrangements beforehand. Separate individual counselling remains a distinct stream of work.
Can I seek help if my partner is not ready?
Yes. Individual counselling can help you understand your experience, clarify your needs and consider your next steps.
It does not make you responsible for repairing the relationship by yourself.
If there is abuse, coercive control or fear of a partner, please let me know before arranging a joint appointment so we can consider an appropriate starting point. Safety takes priority.
Give the conversation somewhere useful to go
You may have put considerable effort into trying to improve things. Wanting support does not erase that effort.
We can begin with where those attempts keep getting stuck and work on something that matters to you.
I welcome married and unmarried couples, including gay and lesbian couples. Appointments are available at my Rocca Balestier practice in Singapore and through online couples counselling.
The initial appointment is S$400 for up to 90 minutes. Follow-ups are S$250 per one-hour appointment block, including approximately 50 minutes of counselling. No GST is charged. The first hour is charged in full. Any additional time is agreed beforehand and charged in 15-minute increments at S$62.50 per increment.
View counselling fees and packages, or contact me about a counselling appointment.
Client experiences
About Cassandra Chiu
Cassandra Chiu is a Registered Counsellor with the Singapore Association for Counselling, with over 15 years’ experience supporting individuals and couples. She holds a Master of Social Science in Professional Counselling from Swinburne University of Technology, is a Master Solution-Focused Practitioner and a Certified Solution Focused Practitioner in Therapy, and has completed Gottman Method Couples Therapy Level 1 and Level 2 training. Read more about Cassandra’s background and approach.
