You close your laptop, but mentally you are still at work. During dinner, you remember an unanswered message. In bed, you rehearse tomorrow’s difficult conversation. You are getting through the day, but rarely feel that it is finished.
Managing stress means finding some relief now and understanding what keeps the pressure going. We can work on both.
I’m Cassandra Chiu, a Registered Counsellor with over 15 years’ experience supporting individuals and couples. Here are five places to begin when the pressure is taking more out of you than you would like.
1. Identify what is draining you
“I’m stressed” can mean several things at once: too much work, financial worries, tension at home or the effort of keeping everyone happy.
Think about a recent moment when the pressure felt particularly strong. What was being asked of you? What felt difficult to change? A more specific starting point can help you see whether you need practical support, a conversation you have been putting off or some room to reconsider what you expect of yourself.
You do not need to solve everything together. Identifying one source of pressure gives us something useful to work on.
2. Find a pause you can actually take
When every spare moment becomes an opportunity to catch up, even rest can start to feel like a task.
A pause might mean stepping away from a screen, listening to music, sitting somewhere quieter or taking a short walk if that suits you. Choose something that fits your day, rather than adding a demanding new routine.
If stopping leaves you guilty or makes unfinished work feel louder, that matters too. The difficulty may be less about knowing how to relax and more about what you feel you must keep carrying.
3. Reconsider one demand or expectation
Some pressure is visible: deadlines, bills and appointments. Some sits in the background: being the person everyone contacts first, remembering what the household needs or feeling you should always manage without help.
Look for one expectation that could be clarified, one task that could be shared or one commitment worth reconsidering.
Knowing that you need a boundary is different from feeling able to express it. You might worry about disappointing someone, creating conflict or appearing less capable. We can work with those concerns, rather than simply adding “say no more often” to your list.
4. Protect one everyday source of support
Regular meals, movement, sleep routines and contact with people you trust can support you during stressful periods. The World Health Organization’s guidance on stress includes these everyday foundations.
You may already know what helps and struggle to make room for it. Start with one adjustment that belongs in your actual week: protecting a lunch break, speaking to a friend or finishing one part of your evening a little earlier.
Support can also mean sharing a responsibility or having someone listen while you think through a difficult decision.
5. Get help when coping is becoming hard work
You may still meet deadlines and look after everyone else while having very little left for yourself. Persistent worry, less patience or time off that never feels restorative can be reasons to seek support.
In individual counselling, we can look at what keeps the pressure going and begin working towards a more manageable way forward. You do not have to arrive with a clear explanation or a plan.
What can counselling add when you have already tried the usual advice?
You may have tried taking breaks, making lists and telling yourself to worry less, only to find the same pressure returning.
Our work begins with the moments where that happens. Perhaps you agree to another request when you are already overloaded. We can explore what makes it hard to respond differently and work through how you might handle that conversation.
Or perhaps you spend the evening replaying something you said. We can slow down what happened, understand what you are still trying to resolve and decide whether there is a useful next step.
I draw on Solution-Focused Brief Therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy where appropriate, alongside your own strengths and circumstances. We agree on what you want to change and review whether our work is helping.
When stress is affecting your relationship
When your energy goes elsewhere, you may become sharper with your partner or withdraw because you have nothing left to say. Your partner may experience that as distance, even when you still care.
If the pressure is becoming a recurring difficulty between you, relationship and marriage counselling gives us space to work on it together. You can also begin individually if that feels like the right first step.
When to seek more support
If the pressure keeps affecting your sleep, concentration, relationships or daily life, it is worth getting support. You may also find the guides to counselling for anxiety and depression and counselling helpful.
New, persistent or concerning physical symptoms deserve medical assessment rather than being assumed to be stress.
What happens in the first appointment?
Your initial appointment gives us up to 90 minutes to understand what has been happening and begin working together.
We explore your concerns, what you have already tried and what you hope will change. As time allows, we also begin working on one specific difficulty—perhaps understanding a recurring worry, preparing for a difficult conversation or finding a practical way to ease some of the immediate pressure.
You do not need to organise everything into a clear explanation beforehand. We can begin with what has been taking the most out of you.
Follow-up sessions build on those priorities, with progress reviewed together. You can see the appointment fees and timings here.
You do not have to wait until you cannot cope
You may still be meeting every deadline while privately feeling stretched thin. We can begin with what is taking the most out of you and find a useful next step together.
Appointments are available at my practice at Rocca Balestier or through online individual counselling. Contact me to arrange an appointment.
